Amusement

A boy with an unusual sense of humor gets rejected by three girls in school due to a truly bizarre project. Flash forward and the boy wishes to get bloody, violent revenge. The antagonist reminds me of Dr. Giggles while some scenes appear to be as thought out as Saw. Unfortunately this film doesn’t know what it wants to be. There is an attack in the beginning by an assailant in a clown suit, which is quickly forgotten. After that, bodies are stitched into beds at a large hostel, hospital, or hotel. The three main women are terrorized in a glass enclosure with moving walls and posed victims.

This film suffers greatly from an identity crisis. The creative team needed to pick a direction and roll with it. The cast is solid and the effects are good. If there had just been a clean cut direction or theme for the film it would have been twice as good.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 5 (the hyena laughter of the baddie matched with the attack by clown at the beginning makes it a somewhat campy endeavor whether it was intended or not)

Gore – 5 (while there is some decent gore, some appears to be just a ruse)

Creep Factor – 1 (if you have a deep irrational fear of clowns or psychotic laughter, this film may make your skin crawl, but for the rest of us this is a 1)

Nudity/Sex – 0 (the main character is no good with the ladies. This is the basic premise. The implication is that there is no nudity or sex needed)

Jump Scenes – 1 (again, the clown may get you if you are of the right mindset)

Verdict: With a more targeted killer this film could have been good. Unfortunately, the same drive and motive was explored more successfully, and with a better ending, in the film Valentine.

Automaton Transfusion

What if… we had zombies that were more like Olympic sprint runners than lumbering idiots, some unique editing and bizarre frame rates, or a horror movie with a unique twist that was made in only 9 days? Good news! We have Automaton transfusion to answer all these questions.

Fresh out of film school a trailer project was expanded into a full feature length film. Shot in only 9 days for pennies on the dollar, we were given Automaton Transfusion. We must look at this film in perspective. We cannot compare this film to the huge budget Wes Craven or John Carpenter films. We must instead compare this to the lower budget first films of directors such as Sam Raimi. Is this as entertaining as the Evil Dead? No. Is it a failure? Not by a long shot.

The military is using a small town in an experiment to create the next super soldier. They have a plan to reanimate the dead with speed, organization, and the ability to think. The only reason this idea would fail is in the experience of the creators and the filming budget. With only 9 days to shoot and nothing but friends as cast the result is amazing. Anyone who really wants to trash this film for choppy editing or bad acting should first have to recreate it under the same circumstances.

The acting is flat. The editing is horrible. A note on the editing, I feel the speed changes and speedy cuts were the director’s way to make a camcorder film feel bigger and more expensive. The creative team had the right idea, but not enough experience to make it work. The idea, however, is fresh and inspired. I love the really fast zombies and the tension and suspense built into the simplest of scenes. That said, the characters are sometimes really stupid. For example, a girl locks herself in the bathroom as an entire house party gets slaughtered, in great gore, by zombies. It then takes her 15 minutes or so to even try to escape using the large window. It reminded me of the 5lb bookcase that kept Bruce Campbell pinned down in the Evil Dead. This is an inspired first project and the planned sequel should make us all forget the errors made here.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 5 (it’s hard to do very low budget without camp)

Gore – 8 (zombies create low budget carnage with some inspired scenes. For the squeamish, there is an edible forced abortion scene)

Creep Factor – 1 (not really that kind of film. Occasionally there is a well lit, tension filled environment)

Nudity/Sex – 0 (as with most first time directors, this project strays away from nudity)

Jump Scenes – 1 (not very tension filled. The editing doesn’t help build tension)

Verdict: Fans of zombie films should rent this. People willing to accept the flaws of first films might want to buy this as I did. Anyone who only likes their films to have a shooting budget over 10 million with stars and a shiny finish probably shouldn’t be reading my reviews and probably shouldn’t watch this one.

Alone In The Dark

There is enough hatred aimed toward poor Uwe Boll on the net already. To this end I will make but two comments. He has never, ever wanted to be Scorsese, and the man made two dreadful mistakes in his early years of directing. He edited cuts of the actual House of the Dead arcade game into the action scenes of the film and he allowed Tara Reid to be cast in Alone In The Dark.

While putting together artifacts from an advanced ancient tribe, many creatures are unleashed upon the world. Christian Slater and his girlfriend Reid get wrapped up in the middle of this just to find out that thanks to a government agency's experiments years ago at Slater's orphanage he is connected to the creatures.

As with Uwe Boll’s entire filmography, this one is based on a video game and feels as real. Christian Slater was kept on a short leash, Stephen Dorff has rare fits of overacting, and Tara Reid was, well, Tara Reid.

Much like Silent Hill and Resident Evil, the Alone in the Dark game had a narrative story structure that would make it an easy transfer to film. Unlike its peers, Alone’s plot is simple and directed with only one real surprise that even the gamers saw coming several hours prior to getting there. With all these flaws, why do I own this film, and why have I watched it more than once?

Even though it deals with things that go bump in the night and there were ample chances to make this a very creepy, dark horror film, it instead got the action treatment. Here’s the rub. It’s easier to make a good low budget horror film than a good low budget action film. This film feels like a throwback to the mid 80s when everyone wanted to make the next Die Hard or Commando. The dialog has flashes of genius. There are some dynamic action scenes that mask the bad the acting with flashy editing. Even Tara Reid only annoys me a third of the time. I love the fact that, on several occasions, when they are being chased by something that can kill them in seconds she is running at half the speed of smell.

I consider this a guilty pleasure film. I like it despite its flaws and I don’t really know why. As a bonus the film introduced a much larger audience to bands like Nightwish and In Flames. This DVD even included a handful of very rare music videos that are, arguably, better than the film.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 6 (Uwe Boll automatically gets a 3. tara Reid automatically gets 2. The commandos get another 1)

Gore – 2 (so many unused chances)

Creep Factor – 2 (Tara Reid trying act… creepy)

Nudity/Sex – 1 (one tasteful love scene)

Jump Scenes – 2 (even more lost opportunities)

Verdict: I am a gamer. I find myself watching most of Uwe Boll’s films. I enjoyed several. But there are only a couple that I ever go back to. By every standard, this is a horrible film, but I find myself putting it in every few months if for no other reason than to have a few easy smiles from a film that doesn’t require the synapses to fire.

Nightmare Man – After Dark Horrorfest

I love the smell of low budget horror in the morning.

A woman gets a tribal fertility mask, that appears to be papier-mâché, and becomes convinced that a demon named Nightmare man is living inside her. This creature, of course, wants to escape, rape, and gut her (not necessarily in that order). While on her way to be committed to an asylum the car runs out of gas. Her dutiful husband goes off to walk the 20 mile round trip to the gas station while she stays in the car. Somehow, Nightmare Man ends up finding her and chasing her through the woods to a mountain cottage populated by 2 couples playing Erotic Truth or Dare. As the group starts getting picked off in the typical fashion, simple sexual tensions and story arcs play out unimportantly.

As all the characters converge on the cabin, several things become clear. The special effects budget was in the tens of dollars, the main actress must have been a friend of the writer, director, or producer, and that the only actress that makes this ride interesting at all is Tiffany Shepis playing Mia.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 6 (thankfully, it doesn’t take itself very seriously at all)

Gore – 3 (the deaths are quick, but painful. There was no budget for true gore)

Creep Factor – 1 (there has to be some tension to have a creepy feel)

Nudity/Sex – 7 (the film opens and closes with nudity. The scenes that don’t contain nudity spent one third of the wardrobe costs at Victoria’s Secret)

Jump Scenes – 0 (even the sudden deaths weren’t sudden enough)

Verdict: You need to be a fan of low budget horror to enjoy this one at all. It is an experience for fun loving horror fans only. This one is barely above camcorder budget. If, however, you are a fan of Ms. Shepis then be warned that she shines in this one. The question is whether she was that good or if the rest of the cast was that bad.

The Abandoned – After Dark Horrorfest

Why is this film an After Dark Horrorfest title? This could have been marketed and released as a standalone film.

A woman goes to Russia in an attempt to uncover what happened to her mother 42 years earlier. That is where we are introduced to the film’s incredible 4 main characters. The woman looking for her roots encounters the twin brother she didn’t know existed. There they come across the antagonists, darkness itself and a house that harbors the remains of the angry, violent truth. We have an English language Russian Ju-On.

The darkness truly is a character. The first half of this film is environmental horror at its best. Watch it with the lights out and the surround sound turned up. You will find yourself looking around your own room. The sound and visuals permeate your reality perfectly. This film successfully taps into everyone’s primal fears of the dark and unknown.

After time, the film takes the needed supernatural twist, and here’s the surprise, it doesn’t ruin it. By the time the ghosts of family past appear, we the audience is so vested that we stay along for the ride. The ending, may or may not surprise you. I saw it coming a mile away, but I am also a bitter and cynical film fan with many, many hours wasted in front of a big screen.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 0 (about as campy as Ju-On)

Gore – 3 (an animal mauling, self bullet removal ala Rambo, and a couple reanimated corpses)

Creep Factor – 9 (This film only works because of its ability to keep you looking around the corners on screen)

Nudity/Sex – 2 (there is a fully nude ghost, and in the grounded spirit of the film, is a thankfully normal looking woman since a big breasted stripper type would have ruined the power of the scene)

Jump Scenes – 7 with surround sound – 3 without (the soundtrack of this film is genius. The production spent their limited funds in the correct places.)

Verdict: If you enjoyed Ju-On, its remake the first Grudge, or Amityville Horror then this is up your alley. Since it is light on gore and heavy on creepy environmental horror it is a great date film for those that can’t handle heavy gore.

Unearthed – After Dark Horrorfest

This is the first of the Horrorfest that feels as though it belongs on the SyFy channel as an original. Let’s see if this rings a bell. There is an exploration of a Native American burial area that unleashes an alien dog-like thing upon a small town in the desert. The townspeople start losing cattle, then each other, and a small group of people that otherwise would not get along band together to take down the beast.

Several things keep this film here and not on SyFy. The local Sherriff is a smaller woman that also doubles as the town drunk. Here conflict between inner and outer demons is rather well done. The creature is actually pretty well done. The wide shots are clearly CG, but the gore and details could have come from the Tom Sevini or KNB special effects book. At least the CG looks better than something put together on a college kid’s Mac book Pro. Finally, while all the usual misfits are represented by a champion, the gruff cattle baron asshole that has it in for our good Sherriff is played by M.C. Gainey. In my humble opinion, adding Gainey to any film immediately makes it better. Unfortunately, the out of place city guy wrapped up in the small town horror is played by Charlie Murphy.

M.C. Gainey + Charlie Murphy = Level Acting Playing Field

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 2 (it can’t help it. It tries to be serious, but the premise and slice of life characters just put it over the top.

Gore – 7 (when it hits, it hits pretty hard, including a quick autopsy performed with a hunting knife)

Creep Factor – 4 (mostly from the oddity of the creature and the good gore effects)

Nudity/Sex – 0 (nope, none. The Sherriff, lead scientist, and uncharacteristically intelligent blonde extra all keep their clothes on as do all the guys, but hey, who wants to see Gainey naked anyway?)

Jump Scenes – 3 (occasionally the creature surprises us, but scenes that should be jump scenes, are ruined by long edits that preview the mayhem)

Verdict: If you are a fan of the weekend lineup on SyFy, you will love this film. If you shy away from those films solely for the hideous acting, rest assured that only Charlie Murphy is down at that level. If you wondered what it would be like if the first Alien film had been handled by lesser actors, by a lesser director, in a much less claustrophobic environment then this film may be right up your alley.

The Hamiltons – After Dark Horrorfest

This film was several years ahead of its time. In 2006 this was a unique premise for a film. If it had sat on the shelf for three more years it would have been made with a much larger budget and bigger stars.

When I first saw the trailers for the first after dark horrorfest, this film didn’t grab me. In fact, thanks to that very same trailer, it was the last of the original 8 that I purchased. It is far better than that horrible little trailer.

This film is a deep, intertwining character study of a family that has recently had to change its hierarchy and dynamic. The parents have died and the older brother has stepped up to the family reigns. Why does the family have so many issues? Why does the family move every so many months? Did I mention they were vampires?

Today in this post Twilight and Tru Blood world this movie would get the star treatment. The characters are flawed, interesting, and complex. The main character arc is that of the teenage boy in the house. He is struggling to come to grips with the fact that he doesn’t fit in at school, the loss of his parents, the matter of fact brutality of his older twin siblings, the refined and hidden monster inside his oldest brother, and the ever growing pile of corpses in the basement. The acting is as good as can be expected from no budget. The sound and picture quality are both on par with a fresh from film school production level. The narrative is flawed at times, but still easy to follow for what is an iceberg of a film.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 0 (The characters are portrayed as realistically as possible)

Gore – 3 (there are some corpses and the expected amount of blood, but this is tame even by a Tru Blood standard)

Creep Factor – 7 (the family itself is the creepy part. There are bonus points given for a twin brother and sister that share a little too close a bond)

Nudity/Sex – 3 (sex scene in a truck, and siblings making out)

Jump Scenes – 0 (not that kind of film)

Verdict: I got wrapped up in the dynamic of the family. This is a rare iceberg film. Every time you watch it you see that there is even more below the surface that you can’t see. The film disturbs, not through gore and violence, but due to the fact that you identify so with the main character. This film brings back the feel of George A. Romero's Martin without the “was he or wasn’t he” question.

The Gravedancers – After Dark Horrorfest

This is quite possibly my favorite of the original 8 films to die for that made up the first after dark horrorfest. There are but two things that I didn’t like and one thing that annoyed me.

The film opens with an unseen killer dispatching an unknown woman by beating her and hanging her above a flight of stairs. This is one of the things I didn’t like. It happens one year prior to the film’s actual events and while we can assume that the poor woman suffered a similar fate to our three main characters there isn’t even a throwaway line to explain this event ever happening before. After this the film becomes a coming home, reunion style film with three very different friends rekindling their friendship with the death of their 4th Musketeer as the catalyst. For some reason (alcohol) the three decide to celebrate their friend’s demise by dancing on several graves. As one would expect, the spirits from those graves don’t take kindly to that kind of activity and follow our three heroes home.

The rest is a series of eerie happenings, assaults, an enjoyable paranormal expert, and several tasks to accomplish if they want to see the light of the next day.

The acting is glorious with the annoying exception of Marcus Thomas as Sid. His acting would make him the stand out star of most of the Horrorfest, but with the company he keeps in this film he is grossly out of place. Every time he delivered a line I started to cringe.

The only other thing I did not like happens near the end. As we are in the middle of the final, brutal showdown there suddenly appears a giant CG head. We the audience being of sound mind are suddenly removed violently from our state of suspended belief and assaulted with this waste of money. I would have preferred the cast be thrown around by nothing.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor – 1 (I only give it a camp rating at all due to the giant, unnecessary floating CG head)

Gore – 5 (corpses, bite marks, throat cutting, and Dominic Purcell dancing)

Creep Factor – 7 (spooky sounds, Chopin, and being attacked by an unseen force that sometimes leaves footprints of flame)

Nudity/Sex – 0 (you will get more on the CW)

Jump Scenes – 4

Verdict: I obviously rated this against much bigger budget films and critiqued it quite a bit harder than its brothers and sisters on the horrorfest, but this film deserves it. If you must watch only a handful of horror films a year then this should be on the list.

Dark Ride - After Dark Horrorfest

The after dark horror fest has helped horror film collections grow at a steady pace. There are at least 8 films released annually. All are low budget, but generally don’t have anything else in common.

Dark Ride is the story of a horror amusement park ride and the mentally challenged psycho killer that lives there. Stop me if you’ve heard this before… there is a killer on the loose in a remote location. Several young, horny college kids on their way to spring break make a detour to spend the night where they shouldn’t. Hilarity, death, and mayhem ensue. Why do horror movies constantly remake this basic morality tale? BECAUSE IT’S FUN!

There is only a basic back story. The characters (or should I call them caricatures) are two dimensional and shallow with the smallest taste of emotion. The gore makes its first appearance mere minutes into the film and looks pretty good. All the effects are in camera and don’t have the polish of the modern CG studio films, but this kind of film doesn’t need to. This adds up to a solid modern slasher film.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor - 3 (all the acting is more serious than camp, but the killer’s mask alone gets points)

Gore – 7 (it starts early and doesn’t really stop. They don’t go overboard, but there is a limited cast to kill. There is a marionette scene that is remarkably well done for in camera effects)

Creep Factor – 3 (only the darkness adds to the eerie feel. There isn’t really any true suspense beyond that. They went for a few memorable kills instead of an Argento feel)

Nudity/Sex – 5 (only one topless scene and one sex act, but it comes to a happy ending for slasher fans)

Jump Scenes – 3 (there are a few, but in general they use them as red herrings. You see the killer before he does any killing. The murders are the treat.)

Verdict: Slasher fans unite. It isn’t Hatchet, but it should definitely be a rental.

Passengers

While not technically a horror film it does deal with death and the afterlife. We hadn’t seen this before and decided to give it a try. Much like Hitchcock’s Psycho, the beginning and end seem like two different films. The film opens with a plane crash resulting in several survivors that need help from a young psychologist played by Anne Hathaway. As she attempts to help them come to terms with the tragedy and their own mortality they begin to disappear. The first bizarre things start happening around 40 minutes into the film. At about an hour, several scenes illicit a “What the Hell?” All of this wraps up with a twist ending that gets it a place on this blog.

This is more a psychological study that a true suspense film. There is the occational scene designed to build tension intertwined with a romantic story arc that seems at times either the sole focus of the film or entirely unnecessary.

I am always a little drawn to this type of mind warp film. That said, this one is paced very, very slowly. The suspense scenes seem forced, but the acting is solid. They knew that this film would only work through the use of experienced and skilled actors. There are familiar faces sprinkled throughout.

The Nitty Gritty: Scale of 0 to 10

Camp Factor - 0

Gore – 0 (even the plane crash is largely bloodless)

Creep Factor -5 (just the fact that you don’t know what’s going on 80% of the time helps)

Nudity/Sex – 1 ( a little light sensuality and a tasteful love scene. If you want to see Anne Hathaway topless, look elsewhere)

Jump Scenes – 1 ( they seem to try, but you always see the car, train, ect. coming. Even the plane crash starts with a small fire in the starboard engine.)

Verdict: As a psychological study it works well. As a suspense film, it fails rather miserably. It’s a good film, but does not belong in a horror marathon.

Month Of Horror Overload

Welcome to October!
For horror movie fans this is the best month of the year. Halloween brings new theater releases as well as new releases on Blu-Ray and DVD.
My wife and I are Horror fanatics. Some of our Halloween decorations stay out all year. We also, more importantly, own several thousand DVDs and Blu-Rays. The largest portion of this collection falls into the horror/thriller category. We have decided to have a month long horror fest. As we watch these films I will write personal impressions and reviews. If your sensabilities align with mine, feel free to use this as a guide to films you may love, but have probably never heard of.
Also, for several reasons we are skipping some of the collection this month. We will not be viewing any of the Friday the 13th series, Nightmare on Elm Street series, Halloween series, or Hellraiser series. We recently introduced our 17 year old son to these films in marathon form. Since we have watched them recently, maybe I will review them at a later time.
After the month is over I will continue to add to this blog as I aquire more horror films,